


Zombie Land Sunshine!!

by paralogism



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!, Zombieland Saga (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Horror, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Amnesia, Comedy, Gen, Parody, not the horror game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 04:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20615300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paralogism/pseuds/paralogism
Summary: It's Love Live Sunshine, except Mari drove Aqours off a cliff and everyone died, so now it's a Zombie Land Saga ripoff instead.





	Zombie Land Sunshine!!

**Author's Note:**

> Luckily this is a zombie story, because this killed me to write. Seriously.

‘Ummm, Mari-san?’ Chika asked, hesitating for a moment. ‘I don’t want to be rude, but are you sure you have a drivers’ licence?’

‘_Scusa_?’ replied an offended Mari. ‘I’ll have you know I learned to drive from my Papa back in Italy!’

‘I’ve seen videos of Italian drivers on YouTube,’ Dia said, peering through her fingers in fear of the world rushing by through the windscreen. ‘They didn’t look very safeeeeee!’

At some previous point in time, Aqours had made the decision to entrust their collective lives to a blonde girl in a purple and white Kombi van to navigate the narrow, coastal roads of Numazu in the middle of the night in pouring rain. At this current point in time, they were all wondering why they thought that was a good idea.

The mechanical splutter of the Kombi engine roared through the cabin as Mari applied a heavy right foot to the throttle to climb a hill. There was a squeak from the tyres underneath the van as they scrambled for traction on the slippery surface.

Riko had taken to curling herself up into a protective ball and shutting her eyes. ‘Can someone please remind me why we’re doing this?’

‘We’re going to find a shooting star and make a wish!’ shouted Kanan over the din of the engine. ‘A wish for all of Aqours!’

‘Can I make a wish that we get out of this safely?’ asked You, as she triple checked that her seatbelt was secured.

‘No,’ Kanan replied, ‘it has to be that we’ll be together forever!’

‘Mari!’ squeaked Hanamaru from the back of the van, ‘The corner, zura!’

‘Corner?’ asked Mari, peering ahead into the darkness. ‘What corne- Oh, that one.’

‘You idiot!’ yelled Dia.

The van struck the roadside barrier head-on and plunged through the other side, its speed not decreasing one bit. Its tyres left the road and rotated unresistingly against the air as the vehicle took to the sky.

A weightless sensation lifted them up from their seats before being restrained by the confines of their seatbelts. Through a parting in the clouds, moonlight bathed the cabin as they got a fraction closer to the celestial sphere. The van pitched upwards and they were face to face with the heavens, the constellations above in full view.

‘We’re flying!’ Chika shouted.

‘No,’ Yoshiko cried out, ‘we’re falling!’

The last thing Chika remembered was staring headlong into the dark waters of Suruga Bay, before the van pitched over and went end over end down the jagged cliff face. It spiralled in a cacophony of screams and shattering glass, and the Kombi’s steel frame was bashed in by rocky outcrops and trees as gravity took an irreversible hold.

Like how a shooting star is the last moments of a meteoroid burning up, the van twirling end over end like a metal football was the last living moment that Aqours had together.

The story ends here with their tragic deaths. Aqours never got the opportunity to win at Love Live and give Uranohoshi its place in history, and instead became a sobering addition to the annual road death toll.

Or at least, that’s how this story should have ended. As you may have guessed from the word count, however, this was only the beginning of something bigger.

* * *

Chika’s eyes fluttered open and she got up from the ground with a start.

She found herself surrounded by pitch darkness. She squinted her eyes, but what she saw was unfamiliar to her. She found herself in a spacious room with tall, bare wooden window frames and walls furnished with a floral wallpaper she couldn’t quite make out in the dark. The floor beneath her room slippers was a cold and rough timber. The bed and what little furniture was provided all appeared antique, likely from several eras prior.

Her breathing was ragged; her skin was clammy and drenched with sweat. Her mind was screaming at her: Where was she? How had she gotten here? She couldn’t find the answer to either question.

She took a step forward into the darkness with trepidation. Then another. And another. Her footsteps caused the rough wooden floorboards to creak and groan underneath her. This was loud enough to be heard over the torrential rain striking against the windows, sounding almost like hail in its ferocity.

A cold draught blew through the hall, rattling the door of the room in its frame. ‘Hello?’ Chika called out into the darkness. ‘Is anyone out there?’

From the adjacent hallway, Chika thought she could hear the same sound of creaking floorboards and shuffling feet headed in her direction. What a relief, she thought. There would be someone to help her make sense of things.

Reaching the doorway, she peeked her head in the direction she heard the footsteps. She peered out, but couldn’t see anyone in the hallway.

How strange. She was sure she heard something.

She looked down the other end of the hallway to see if they might have walked past her, then turned back the other way, ready to call out once more. That was when she saw it - two glowing, red eyes like oversized laser pointers aimed in her direction.

The thing possessing those inhuman eyes began to traipse towards Chika in a laboured shuffle, arms outstretched in front of it.

Chika yelped and ran back into the room, slamming the door shut behind her. No sooner than she did that came a scratching noise from the other side of the door, as if someone were scraping at the wood with their fingernails. The scritch-scratching sound began to rebound throughout the room and put her on edge, backing away from the door.

After the scratching got no response, the heavy pounding of a fist came instead against the timber, causing the door to judder in its frame.

Her eyes wide, Chika ran to the corner of the room and cowered down in the shadows.

‘Why is this happening to me?’ she whispered to herself, flinching everytime the door was struck with increasing intensity.

The pounding stopped. Chika looked at the door with caution, getting to her feet when it seemed that things had settled. She started to tiptoe across the room to check that the coast was clear for her to escape. Floorboards creaked in the hallway once more, with a heavy and fast footfall coming to Chika’s ears.

She drew herself back just in time.

This time, the door was smashed clean through, splinters flying through the air. Chika screamed, and the humanoid thing turned its head in Chika’s direction. Its long, dishevelled black hair hung in front of its face like closed curtains, obscuring it from Chika’s view. Its skin was a strange greyish green. Its arms had strips of flesh flayed open from smashing the door open, although there was a curious lack of blood from any of its wounds.

Letting out a long, low groan, the figure once more outstretched its arms and mindlessly made its way towards Chika. Her eyes shut in reflexive fear, Chika groped sideways along the wall, looking for something, anything, to use as a weapon. Her hand came across something cold and metallic to the touch.

She grabbed and swung.

Chika’s attack connected with a sickening squelch and a popping noise, like the sound of a cork being removed from a bottle. Her assailant’s groaning stopped, which was the cue for her to open her eyes once more.

In front of her now was a headless torso, which stood upright for a further few seconds before slumping to the ground.

She looked at the weapon in her hands: a poker for the room’s fireplace. Feeling bile rise to her throat at the sight, Chika retched.

‘Oh god,’ she gasped out, ‘is that a zombie? Oh god, what have I done?’

She stumbled backwards, but couldn’t tear her eyes from the sight. The poker dropped from her hands and clanged against the floor as she ran through the doorway and scrambled for the house’s exit.

The head lying in the corner was still very much alive, and let out a low hiss. It almost sounded something like, ‘Ru…by…’

* * *

Pushing her bike beside her in the downpour, Officer Sonoda felt the rain drenching through her navy blazer and into her cotton blouse. She shivered as a strong squall blew, the wind cutting through her.

Of all nights to be stuck with the night shift.

‘Go to Numazu, they said,’ she murmured to herself. ‘The weather’s great there, they said. Kotori even said I’d get a nice tan…’

It certainly was not what she had been looking forwards to after her transfer from Tokyo. But oh well. Helping people was a task which needed completing 24/7, and this was her role to play in that.

Umi squinted into the darkness with only the bike’s headlight illuminating the path. Was there someone silly enough to be out at night in this weather?

She could just make it out in the gloom. There was some poor soul sitting by herself on the footpath, her arms huddled closely around her legs as the rain soaked through her.

‘Excuse me?’ Umi called out. ‘Is everything alright? Do you need any help?’

Startled, Chika looked up at the officer. Panicked, she pushed herself backwards and spluttered out, ‘Officer, please listen to me! I woke up in a scary house and there was a monster or a zombie or a thing which chased after me and it broke down the door so I hit it in the head and its head came off; I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-’

Umi took a breath. Of course the only people crazy enough to be out at this time would be, well, crazy. Still, this was something she was trained for.

‘I think you’ve had a rough night,’ Umi said, a soothing tone to her voice. ‘Let me get you out of the rain so you can calm down.’

Tears came to Chika’s eyes as she stood. ‘Thank you so much!’

Thunder clapped and lightning flashed close overhead, illuminating them both to each other. Chika felt relief wash over her as she made her way towards the officer. At least her ordeal would finally be over-

Umi dropped her bike, pulled her standard issue revolver from her holster and cocked it, taking a shaky aim down the sights.

‘S-Stay back! I’ll shoot!’

Chika immediately backed away, her eyes wide and hands raised either side of her head by instinct. ‘O-Officer?! What are you doing?!’

‘What is wrong with you?!’ Umi yelled. ‘I really will shoot you, you fiend!’

Her mind stalling, Chika ran through every possibility which would lead to having a police officer draw a gun on her without doing anything wrong and without being in America.

Ah, that’s it! There must be a scary person standing behind her! That’s why the nice officer had her gun ready!

Chika looked over her shoulder as lightning flashed once more. In the reflection of the window behind her, she saw herself.

Her jaw dropped.

Her complexion was a pallid grey-blue - the same as her attacker from earlier. There were lines of black stitches running in haphazard lines across parts of her body, as if her joints were held together by their thread.

Chika’s breathing stopped. She felt dizzy, but it was strange, she couldn’t hear her heart pounding like she had expected. She slowly reached out and touched her face with a shaking hand. There was no trace of warmth.

‘W-What?’ she whispered in disbelief. ‘Don’t tell me, I’m a-’

A loud crack sounded out in the storm. It wasn’t thunder this time. Chika saw the barrel of the officer’s revolver smoking in the breeze, then looked down at her chest.

There was an open hole right where her heart was, with no blood to be seen.

Still staring at the wound, Chika slumped to the ground in a lifeless heap. Umi took a few nervous steps forward, before prodding at the girl’s body with her foot. There was no visible reaction. She checked for a pulse, but couldn’t find one.

‘A… z-zombie?! I’ll have to report this-‘ As Umi bent down in the storm, she never heard or saw it coming. No sooner than she had holstered her revolver came the metallic clang of a shovel, thwacking into the back of Umi’s skull.

‘Ow,’ Umi slurred, just before losing consciousness. ‘Right… in the… hippocampus…’

With no remaining obstacles in her way, the unseen figure strolled past Umi and grabbed hold of Chika’s foot, before dragging her across the pavement and into the back of their waiting van, engine still running.

* * *

Chika found herself staring at an unknown ceiling for the second time in quick succession.

Groaning, she sat herself up and looked down at her chest. There was a hole in the middle of her ribcage, just left of centre.

So the whole getting shot thing really did happen.

She brought the palm of her hand in front of her face and flexed her fingers a few times, taking in the otherworldly sight of her off-colour skin. So the whole being a probable zombie thing really did happen as well.

‘Finally awake, huh?’

A jolt ran through Chika’s body at the sudden voice from right behind. She turned and met an intense gaze of red eyes boring into her from close range.

Naturally, Chika screamed.

She was soon stifled by a hand placed in front of her mouth by the other girl. ‘Jeez!’ the girl said, her tone nasal and high-pitched. ‘Don’t scare me like that! You sounded like something from a horror movie!’

‘Immmh sohrry,’ Chika mumbled.

Satisfied with that answer, the other girl removed her hand. Chika felt the need to gasp for air. When she thought about it, however, that might have been unnecessary.

She took in the sight of the girl who had a voice far louder than her height entitled her to. Porcelain skin contrasted with jet black twintails, she was almost doll like. Especially with her stature.

The doll-like girl jabbed an accusative finger towards Chika. ‘You’re lucky I was around, otherwise you and your friends would all have died pointless deaths! And just what were you thinking, getting yourself killed like that?! Do you know how many fans that would disappoint? How your family would feel? How many royalties you’d miss out on?’

‘Royalties?’

This conversation was beyond Chika’s comprehension, and it had only begun seconds ago. In all fairness, she had just fought off another zombie, escaped from a room full of more zombies, and gotten shot and killed, all in the past hour. Her mind swimming, Chika asked the obvious question.

‘Who are you?’

‘I’m the producer who’s going to make you a superstar in return for a very modest management fee: the one and only Nico Yazawa, Number One Producer in the Universe!’

‘Huh,’ replied Chika.

Awkward silence.

Nico crossed her arms and huffed at the disappointing reaction. ‘I was in μ’s? The most legendary school idol group there’s ever been, along with A-RISE and Iron Frill?’

‘Muse…?’ replied Chika, puzzled. ‘Isn’t that a soap brand? And where am I?’

It was Nico’s turn to be surprised. ‘Don’t you remember your school at least? We’re standing in its auditorium.’

‘School…’ Chika murmured to herself. ‘Where did I go, again?’

Nico felt the colour draining from her face as realization set in. ‘Please tell me you know what your name is.’

‘Of course,’ Chika replied, crossing her arms in a huff. ‘My name is, errr… ummm… I think it started with a J…’

Nico brought both hands to cover her face in disbelief. ‘Nozomi!’ she yelled to no-one in particular. ‘You didn’t tell me that this was going to be an issue!’

Chika blinked in confusion. ‘Nozomi?’

‘Never mind that,’ said Nico. She closed the distance to Chika before taking a firm grasp of her shoulders, her eyes boring into Chika’s own.

‘Listen. Your name is Chika Takami, you go to Uranohoshi Girls’ High School in Uchiura, near Numazu, your defining character traits are being energetic and having an ahoge, you started a school idol group named Aqours with your friends in order to save your school, which didn’t work because the school is being closed down anyway even though you’re the group which is odds-on to win the upcoming Love Live competition in a few weeks. Does any of that ring a bell?’

Chika made a sheepish smile. ‘No?’

‘Well,’ Nico replied with a level voice. ‘I guess it can’t be helped. You can just go and live a regular, zombie life, with no one the wiser about your untimely death.’

‘Really?’ asked Chika.

‘Of course not!’ yelled Nico. ‘You’re an idol and a damn good one, and you and your friends are getting back on that stage and shining like glowsticks, even if it kills you!’

‘But I don’t remember anything,’ Chika protested. ‘I can’t remember why I wanted to be a school idol in the first place. Even if everything you said is true, there’s no way we could win, and there’s definitely no way I could ever do something so amazin-’

Chika never saw it coming.

Nico drew back her arm and swung hard at Chika, slapping her across the face. Chika’s undead head pirouetted like a spinning top several times, unconstrained by pesky limitations such as living vertebrae. It’s momentum only stopped when Nico grabbed Chika’s head in place.

‘So… dizzy…’ Chika moaned. ‘Why’d you do that?’

‘Because assault doesn’t count against zombies,’ growled Nico, before she brought herself to her tiptoes, grabbed Chika by the shoulders and glared at her from a nose length away. It would have intimidated Chika, if her eyes weren’t still rolling in their sockets and unfocused and she was resisting the urge to vomit.

‘Listen to me: I know you can do this. I know you can stand on the stage; I know that you and your friends can win Love Live, and I know that you all can shine! I know what I’ve seen, I know you can become Love Live legends! That’s why I brought you back to life after that accident, and I won’t be taking no for an answer!’

‘Well, you’re gonna have to! As far as I know, I’m just a regular girl!’ retorted Chika, before pausing for a second. ‘Well, a regular zombie, but that’s not the point. I’m not special! I’m not an idol! And I’m definitely not becoming an idol just because you say I can!’

Nico’s grasp of Chika’s shoulders tightened, her fingers digging into Chika’s flesh. ‘So stubborn! You have all the ingredients of greatness - not as great as me, sure, but you’ve got all the charisma of one girl I know, and she was the best of them all!’

Nico flung a hand into her blazer and dug into her pocket to retrieve her phone. ‘If even this girl can become a dazzling idol,’ she roared, thrusting the screen into Chika’s nose, ‘I know you can!’

Rubbing the point of her offended nose, Chika’s eyes adjusted to the bright screen in the darkness as video played on Nico’s phone: a video of some idol group with nine members, centred by an orange haired girl not dissimilar to herself…

Chika blinked. Why did this look so familiar to her?

There were flashes of something in her mind, the prickly sensation of synapses firing and memories coming to the surface.

Something like chasing a stream of flyers caught in the breeze on that sunny day. Gazing upwards at that glass skyscraper, seeing the sight of dancing on that massive screen, hearing the sound of music like a clarion call.

Ah. That was it. That was the day that she had decided.

‘I wanted… to be an idol.’

A distant sound started to break into Chika’s consciousness. A too familiar voice faded in with a steady increase of volume. ‘Oi. Oi! Can you hear me, ahoge girl?’

Eyes fluttering open, Chika found herself lying on the ground with Nico hovering above her.

‘I’d ask if you’re okay, but you’re a zombie. You can’t get sick. I also don’t really care anyway, because you seem to remember things based on your creepy muttering.’

‘Yeah,’ Chika said, her voice groggy as she sat herself up. ‘I remember… some of it, at least. It was all dazzling and sparkling and amazing! Oh, and you were there, too!’

‘Yes, I am pretty amazing,’ said Nico, nodding in acknowledgment. ‘So? Do you remember who you started the club with?’

Chika folded her arms. ‘Of course I do! There were my two bestest friends! Their names were… umm… errr…’

‘You seriously forgot the names of your two best friends?’ said Nico, shaking her head. ‘I wonder what they’d think of that?’

There was a sudden low, inhuman groan from somewhere outside the auditorium. Chika jumped.

‘Yeah, yeah, wait a moment,’ Nico called out in response, turning her back to Chika. She walked to a corner of the auditorium, where Chika observed a tarpaulin-covered cage of the type to contain sports balls when they were not in use.

Instead of basketballs and the like, however, Nico yanked the tarp and revealed two zombies in school uniforms stacked atop each other in a moaning, tangled mess. They writhed around with slow, cumbersome movements, grasping against the bars of the cage.

‘The exit’s over here, stupid zombies!’ Nico exclaimed, kicking over the cage and leading to the two undead beings tumbling out. They turned to Chika as one, the familiar glow of red eyes cutting through the gloom.

Chika stepped back on reflex, placing her hands in front of her eyes and peeking through her fingers. ‘Oh my goodness, who on earth are they?’

Nico replied as if it were obvious, ‘They’re your two best friends, You and Riko.’

‘You-chan and Riko-chan?! _These_ are my best friends?!’

The two answered her in unison with a deep ‘urrrrrgh’. Chika wasn’t sure what she expected.

Dumbfounded, Chika looked at her new acquaintances as they wandered about the room, saliva dribbling from the edges of their mouths as they rasped in zombie with arms outstretched. They seemed to have had it worse than Chika with the stitching, with blotches of deep blue and grey mottled amongst the light green of their complexion.

‘You don’t like them?’ asked Nico, observing Chika’s horrified reaction. ‘I even did my best to get rid of the horrible corpse smell.’

‘That’s not what I…’ Chika paused. ‘Smell? What smell?’

‘The whole decomposing, rotting flesh thing? Stinks so bad that you wish your nostrils were sewn shut?’

On reflex, Chika brought her wrist in front of her nose and sniffed. It… wasn’t that bad, right?

‘Anyway,’ continued Nico, ‘you now have two best friends! And if history is any guide, all you need to win Love Live are second-year students who perform their first live in an empty auditorium, before overcoming all the obstacles in their way! We’ve got the second-years and we’ve got the empty auditorium, so I think you can see where this is going.’

‘Us three…? No, wait!’ Chika only realised what this meant after Nico had shoved her into the middle of the auditorium’s raised stage. ‘You don’t mean-’

‘Exactly!’ Nico snapped her fingers. ‘Music! Come on!’

Music did not come on, despite Nico’s command. She snapped her fingers again. Then again. ‘Whatever,’ she said in annoyance, ‘I’ll just push the button on my phone like an animal.’

She pushed the button and sound from the speaker system shook the wooden floor - a straight up idol pop song. She pressed at her phone several more times and managed to point a spotlight directly at Chika, causing her to shield her eyes.

‘Hurry up and dance!’ commanded Nico.

‘Oh come on,’ Chika replied, standing stock still, save for the shaking of her knees beneath her. ‘My brain can’t remember anything! Especially not how to dance a song I’ve never heard!’

‘Your brain doesn’t have to,’ Nico replied. ‘It’s all muscle memory! You’ve practiced this song hundreds of times! Get moving and it’ll all come back to you! Probably!’

The upbeat music was soon joined by the squeak of rubber soles on varnished timber, and Chika turned in surprise. She looked to see You and Riko now flanked either side of her and… dancing?

Jaw dropping, Chika watched as her companions moved to the beat. Chika wasn’t sure how, but they were able to keep up with the tempo, even with their slow, stilted movements.

It was step, step, turn. Turn, step, turn, pause…

Chika had begun to sing before she knew it, the words coming from an unknown place in her head:

> _Sparkle! _
> 
> _I noticed the new thrill in my heart _
> 
> _Because of you, standing there in front of me… _

A new rush of memories flooded into her mind straight after. You, her childhood friend and the one who had always stood by her; Riko, who she had to beg into joining for her wonderful talent, how far they would get together after starting from zero, to be standing on stage, this stage together, and then with the rest of them; finally, a blinding, blue sea of light bathing them all in a brilliant dazzle…

She blinked again and was greeted with the dark, empty auditorium.

‘C-Chika-chan?!’

Turning her head, Chika found You and Riko splayed on the floor either side of her.

‘What is this?!’ shrieked You. ‘Why are you… Why am I…?’

‘This isn’t real,’ Riko murmured to herself. ‘I’ll just pinch myself and I’ll wake up from this nightmare. Ow. Nope, maybe I have to do it harder…’

‘Anddddd more zombies with amnesia. That’s just great.’ Nico turned to Chika, ignoring the other two for the moment. ‘Please tell me you remember everything so that you can win Love Live and make me rich.’

‘Yes,’ Chika bounced on her heels with excitement, ‘I remember it all now! How we came together and made Aqours, with You-chan and Riko-chan and… ummm…’ Chika made a sheepish grin at Nico, rubbing at the back of her head. ‘Who are the others, again?’

‘You know,’ Nico replied, clenching a fist as she struggled to keep her voice under control, ‘if you weren’t already dead, I would have killed all three of you just now. Are you going to have to regain your collective memories in a slow and painful process, needing god knows how many more chapters?’

The trio averted their gazes and realization dawned upon Nico.

‘Oh, damnit!’

**Author's Note:**

> This was planned to be completed for AU Yeah August sometime, but I got sidetracked. There's also one more setting from there that I've wanted to do for a while, so that might be done in a decade or so.


End file.
